In which smart people on the Internet give me advice, and I realise that I am a statistic

So I've always been one of those women who was rather smug about the idea that even though most women wear the wrong bra size I'm not one of them. Why, I've been measured and fitted in a good lingerie store! OK, so that was years ago, but still! In fact, I've argued with people that although they insist most women with my band size tend to be chubbier than me that is in fact my band size. I just have big ribs, blah blah.

Well, as it turns out I was actually wrong about my band size. I thought I was a 36 (and in fact I wore a 38 in my teens, when I was at least as thin as I am now, pre-fitting). In reality? Well, I'm currently wearing a 34 as we speak, and thinking it may be time to get myself to a store and try on a 32, because I can still comfortably get my whole hand under the band of the 34, which apparently one should not be able to do. Also, the 34 is more comfortable than the 36 was - seriously, I put it on and immediately went "wow this is so comfy and look how totally straight the back is".

So I will be getting my ass to a store and being fitted soon. I was wearing a 36D or DD depending on style, and currently have on a 34DD, and I'm sort of bulging out of the cups a little at the side, so I think I may in fact need a 34E. Or, if it turns out that the 32 band fits, that would probably make me a 32F? Which I sort of don't even want to contemplate, because holy shit it's hard to find bras in that size. Bye bye shopping in department store sales ever, basically. I'm hoping that it turns out that the 34 is fine.

The lesson here, ladies, is get fitted. I honestly had no idea how much better a smaller band would feel. Though in my case there's a lot of formerly anorexic thinking of myself as a lot fatter than I am mental nonsense going on in there too.

Also, on a related note, I just realised that I'm not eating as much protein as I should be. As in, about half as much as I should be. Yikes. See, in general I have a pretty balanced, healthy diet, but I do eat a lot of veggies, and I guess I sort of gradually reduced my protein intake without intending to, thus getting to where I am now. And again, of course the ED issues play into this and old stuff I used to believe about how much I should be eating is always at the back of my mind (I can still come up with calorie counts with ease, and it's been about 15 years since I recovered). This stuff is poison, you never really get rid of it. I mean, I'm 37 and I'm a size 6, if anything that's way below average for a woman my age, but do I think of myself as thin? Lol no.

So now I'm sitting here contemplating how to add more protein to my diet while at the same time planning my upcoming bra fitting. Body issues, they just never stop.

The most incompetent management in the world

You know, working around the music industry you see some dumb shit. The business by it's nature attracts some, um, difficult personalities. But to turn up at a show you're supposed to be reviewing to find no press pass? Um...

But it gets better! On top of that add, no photo pass, when you've spent the whole day discussing how you're going to get pics approved by the next day. You know, the ones you need a photo pass to take in the first place.

I mean I sorted it out and was able to get in and take photos, but holy crap that was a mess. And that was after forgetting to tell me about an event that I would have covered if they had in fact told me about it.

And now we still have to get through the pic approval process. Oh joy!

It's really sad when fantastic artists are paired with management that's impossible to work with. Seriously, the artist? Love. The management...well, saying "hate" would be bad for my karma, but definately do not love.

(These people manage writers too. When I finally finish my novel, remind me not to have them represent me - I prefer not pissing off people I work with.)

Wait, Finland isn’t in the Western Hemisphere?

File under “xenophobia makes people stupid”. From a PR release about a band from Finland that’s releasing an album in America.

If you live in the Western Hemisphere, chances are you won’t understand a single word Regina sings, and that’s OK. The Helsinki-based three-piece band sing in their native language of Finnish, lending a surreal, otherworldly quality to their distinguished blend of electronic beats, folk and world music, wild percussion, and slightly hazy melodies.

Um, I’m sorry, I’m confused. I was under the impression that Finland was in Europe? Which is in the Western Hemisphere? I mean, you can catch a ferry from the UK to Helsinki. Apparently it’s the world’s first long-distance ferry, capable of crossing multiple oceans?

Note that languages that are not English are “surreal” and “otherworldly”. You know, if you’re incredibly, embarrassingly parochial. Also, is there some community of people in China or India that would automatically understand lyrics that are in Finnish? I mean, since people in the Western Hemisphere obviously wouldn’t understand them (OMG the words are so long! With so many vowels!), I’m assuming this implies that people in the Eastern Hemisphere would be more likely to speak Finnish? Because all places that seem “foreign” to a (stupid) American are all just one giant homogenous mass.

Who wants to place a bet that the person who wrote this would also identify, say, Mexico as being outside the Western Hemisphere, even though it’s geographically located directly south of the United States?

Xenophobia doesn’t just make people assholes, it also makes them really really stupid. In fact maybe that’s the way to get people to modify their behavior – since clearly they don’t care if they’re being assholes, maybe pointing out that their xenophobia makes them sound like fucking morons is the way to get them to think twice about what comes out of their mouths (or keyboards).

Hail Satan and pass the sunblock

Holy shit this is the most hilarious marketing idea I’ve ever seen. I thought the Linkin Park MMPORG game was bad, but this is worse/better.

From the press release.

TESTAMENT confirmed for 70000TONS OF METAL!

Amon Amarth Death AngelEpica FinntrollMoonspellObituaryRaven Saxon Sodom Sonata Arctica Stratovarius SwashbuckleTestamentTrouble Uli Jon Roth Witchburner

70000TONS OF METAL will sail Monday, January 24, 2011 aboard the Royal Caribbean “Majesty of the Seas” from Miami FL to Cozumel, Mexico and will not return you to the real world for four days until Friday, January 28, 2011.
Make no mistake, 70000TONS OF METAL is not your grandma's cruise. It's also not one of the cruises that share the ship with normal cruise guests. This is an all heavy metal cruise! Can you imagine that? A whole luxury cruise ship full of metalheads? And since there is no backstage area you will have the opportunity to mingle side-by-side with the artists in this incredibly fan-friendly scenario that has no comparison. It's like everyone has a backstage pass!
Ticket prices start at US$666 plus US$249 taxes and fees per person and include all on-board entertainment, all meals, non-alcoholic and non-carbonated beverages at the dining rooms, most on-board restaurants and 24 room service!
What are you waiting for? You might even need a vacation from this vacation when all is said and done! Check out http://www.70000tons.com/ for more information and book your cabin NOW!

OK, so, does the ship’s captain wear a Viking hat and have a raven sitting on his shoulder instead of a parrot? Does he have a steel instead of a wooden leg, encrusted with studs? Do they serve devil horn breakfast pastries and Odin’s Blood cocktails?

Also, yeah, man, Cozumel is so metal. You guys can hang out with all the super metal families on vacation and kids on spring break. Couldn’t they at least have gone to Stockholm or something?

New Pictures!

Verdict so far on the new, better camera - I love this thing. In fact, I love it so much that now I kind of want a proper DSLR. Dammit I hate it when my Dad is right. (He thinks I should get a Canon Digital Rebel or a Nikon D60 - what say you, photography nerds? I think the Nikon is too heavy - the D5000 is more appropriately sized for my dinky hands and dislike of carrying bulky crap around, but it's expensive.)
So anyway, some shots with the new camera. Some of these are pretty damn funny - I love it when rock dudes make ridiculous rawr metal faces, it makes for such silly pictures.

First, some moody shots with cool lighting (the old camera would have just made this one big blur).

(And yes, that is indeed a 6 ft tall punk rock dude wearing a skirt. The skirt was kind of cute, actually, but I seriously question his leggings, sneakers and bare ankles decision. Someone please buy this man some socks.)







Sing!

I want to give the audience a hug? (He's not really getting into the whole rawr evil metal spirit here, I have to say)

Oh hey there photographer lady

Hilarious Hamlet pose

Getting sweaty?

Look at me, am I not hot?

The absolute winner of the night, though, was...

I'm a little teapot short and stout (figuratively speaking)

Is it just me or does he look like he's attempting to entertain a room full of kindergardeners? Yes, sweetie, you are so hardcore.

More pics to come!

Race Fail 2010 - Part 62132154534

I was going to post this in comments on the latest Race Fail Opus on Jezebel, but it looks like they closed the comments. Is someone over there finally realising that they need to moderate this shit? Because it was a fucking mess, what with all the whining about how white women feel so excluded from conversations about racism (yeah, let that one sink in for a minute) because WOC are just so mean to them. Apparently "that thing you said was racist" is the same thing as "STFU white lady, you don't get to speak". You know, if you're a whiny, entitled, overreacting idiot.


I have to admit that as a young, naïve college student I too was confused when I first encountered the notion that WOC feel excluded from mainstream feminism. I didn’t understand why. The thought was upsetting. I didn’t get it.

Then I started to pay attention to what happens when WOC try to speak in feminist spaces, and to observe the consistency with which white women try to re-center themselves and make the conversation about their hurt feelings, and the racist bingo that ensues when WOC object to that pattern. I observed the way in which even the mostly gently worded pointing out of racism is interpreted as a violent attack (seriously, fellow white ladies, you need to calm the fuck down - someone telling you you're wrong on the Internet is not equivalent to them beating you up, and I have to wonder why you only seem to have these panicked little freakouts when it's black people telling you that you're being a jackass).

So now I get it, what I didn't get back then about why WOC feel like mainstream feminism isn't exactly welcoming them with open arms and taking their concerns seriously. Sigh. Suggestion to my white sisters – any time you feel the urge to tell a WOC that you just can’t listen to her until she moderates her tone because she’s making you feel attacked? You’re being an asshole, and you should probably shut up for a while until you can get some perspective. You know how pissed off you get when men tell you that you’re being hysterical castrating bitch and they just can’t take you seriously until you put things in a way they find more congenial? Maybe you should stop and think about how infuriating that is before you turn around and do the same damn thing to other people. Racist (and sexist, and heterosexist, and so on) systems need to be examined and critiqued in order for changes to be made, and if that makes you feel uncomfortable, well, too bad. It’s not personal…unless you respond by throwing a fit about how awful it makes you feel that WOC feel marginalized, at which point now it is about you, because you’re being an asshole and that makes you part of the problem in a very direct sort of way. You know the song We Shall Overcome? You are now the thing that needs to be overcome, as a direct result of the choice you just made to respond with defensive attempts to maintain your role as the most important person in the (virtual) room rather than with empathy. Congratulations, you win the "how to kill feminism in 10 easy steps" prize.

I’ve read through all the comments on that post and haven’t been able to find any examples of the “all white people STFU” thing that a lot of white people claim is happening. What I see is people being called out for making dumb, offensive comments and then trying to derail the conversation into a discussion about how having racism pointed out makes white women feel bad. It’s worth noting that there were plenty of white women participating in that conversation without being told to STFU, so, those who insist that their race is the only reason they’re being called out, well, clearly they are incorrect. Are they even reading the things people are saying to them? Because it’s not “STFU white lady”, it’s mostly “that specific thing you said was really dumb and here’s why”.

Most commenters on Jezebel are pretty good at spotting when a man is speaking from the “my privilege is being challenged, man the barricades” perspective, so I’m not sure why so many people seem to find it so hard to take that same sort of critical thinking and apply it to race issues. In theory that should be a fairly easy logical leap to take, but a whole lot of people don't seem to be able to make it. Or maybe they just don't want to.

Just like the quote in the article says - holy shit!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jan/13/cape-town-giant-shark-attack

See, this is why I swim in swimming pools. Nice, safe, totally lacking in giant animals with sharp teeth swimming pools.

Also a question - why do so many people have a lemming-like instinct to do incredibly dangerous things even when the danger is pointed out to them? I mean if you're in Cape Town, a known hub for shark attacks, and there's just been one, and the authorities have told you to stay out of the water for now - why are you swimming?

This is my new favorite thing....New Moon in Lolcats.

(For those of you who've been spared the whole Twilight soap opera...well, first, I suggest you take a moment to give thanks. It's a series of melodramatic, poorly written novels about a girl who falls in love with a sissy emo vampire, and they can't have sex because the author is a Mormon, so they just angst and mope at each other for hundreds of pages. Oh, and there are werewolves, and prose so purple even Anne Rice would be embarrassed to have written it. Seriously, this shit will make you long for Lestat, and I don't even like those books.)

Enjoy!

http://microsuede.blogspot.com/2009/11/movie-review-twilight-saga-new-moon.html

Updates

So, I’m all moved out and in my own place for the first time in 13 years. In the past two weeks I have (drum roll please)…looked at about 30 apartments, picked one, decided it wasn’t suitable after realizing the windows didn’t have proper locks and the landlord was a slob and the kitchen was too small, picked another one, spent an ungodly amount of time at IKEA, bought furniture, built furniture with the help of my Dad, moved almost all the stuff I’d accumulated over the more than 10 years in my last apartment, hosted a friend from out of town the day after I moved in, done two phone interviews and one in person (journalistic kind), been interviewed for a potentially cool new job. Blog friends, I am TIRED. Oh, and I seem to have caught a cold – big surprise there, huh?

I’m also starting to date again, which is interesting. I’ve gotten so used to trying not to check out attractive people that it’s weird to be allowed to do it without feeling guilty. I’m trying not to let it distract me from job hunting, which is where I really should be focusing. I’m also loving my new apartment, which is gorgeous. Will post pictures later, when I’m less tired. In the meantime can I just say how nice it is to finally sleep in a real bed again? When I moved into my old place my ex brought his old futon, which we said we were going to exchange for a real bed at some point, but it never happened. Now note that this was not a nice, traditional futon that’s meant to be a bed, those are cool, and pretty comfy. This was a cheap American futon of the kind that college kids buy for their dorm room. I think the fact that, despite my bringing it up multiple times, we never actually got a real bed, is emblematic of what was wrong with that relationship, and why I’m no longer in it. I’m willing to bet my ex will still be sleeping on the same futon when he’s 50. Me, however, I’m loving the real bed with the comfy mattress and the proper duvet cover that actually matches the sheets and the overall look of the room.

In theory I guess I’m supposed to be depressed or lonely but actually I’m feeling pretty upbeat. It’s just so nice to actually live in an apartment that’s decorated in a way that I like, and to be able to keep it clean without having someone nagging me that my preference for good hygiene is somehow weird or OCD. Not having anyone else to answer to is awesome, is what I’m saying. Plus being able to play the music I like whenever I feel like it? Also awesome.

It feels good to be starting over. A little scary, but good. So, how is everyone else doing?

Local TV news drops the ball again

So a cable/a couple of rods snapped on the Bay Bridge, hitting 3 cars and forcing closure of the upper deck. This is apparently the result of the cracks in the foundation that they found during the final stages of construction a few months back and that were mysteriously fixed much faster than anticipated. Hmm…think maybe it might have been smarter to take the extra time and do a more thorough fix, guys?

The really awesome thing, though, is that only one local TV channel bothered to interrupt their very important Tuesday afternoon schedule of sports programming and Friends re-runs to inform the public of this. Um, guys, this is possibly the highest traffic bridge in the Bay Area? And we’re not yet sure of the safety implications. You don’t think it might have been a good idea to let people know there was a problem?

But nope, the Friends re-runs continue uninterrupted. Idiots.

Also a giant tree fell in the park near my house today. Yep, it’s that windy. Luckily the tree didn’t hit anyone and now there are kids running all over it playing.

Hey there blog friends. I know I've really sucked at updating for a while now, but I have an excuse. Several of them actually.

So I'm getting divorced. Yay! As odd as it might sound "yay" is kind of an accurate summation of my feelings at this point. Man is pissing me off in so many ways it's not even funny.

So there's that. Also I've been getting a lot of freelance work and I've been busy with that. I'm also looking for a day job (blech). And learning photography, which as it turns out is not only a useful skill to add to my resume, but something I actually like - I blame my Dad the devoted shutterbug for this. Clearly it's genetic.

The wierdest thing about impending divorce is realising that I'll be dating again soon, after a really long time. I mean it's been nearly fifteen years...holy shit!

Dating in your thirties looks to be interesting. The wierdest part so far? I have a profile on OK Cupid which I've had forever just so I could take their silly quizzes, so I updated it with a couple of pictures and bam, suddenly tons of guys are hitting on me. Which is fine, but...why are most of them so damn young? Is this the cougar nonsense as cultural phenomenon playing out? Because seriously, there are multiple 21 and 22 year old boys trying to ask me out, which is like...oh honey no. I mean as friends, sure. But in terms of dating, what the hell am I going to do with a college kid? I mean I remember dating guys that age, and they were kind of annoying then - now? Yeah, I just don't have that kind of patience any more. I mean sure, they have minimal wrinkles and nice tight asses and all, but...

Well, I found this really cool blog that kind of sums up my feelings on this. The phrase "never send a boy to do a man's job" springs to mind.

This is what confuses me about the cougar thing. Really young guys are, for the most part, terrible in bed. I mean sure they have lots of energy, but for the most part they have no idea what to do with it. Way back in high school I dated a guy 18 months younger (which is a lot more of a gap when you're that age) and, after I broke up with him, ended up comparing notes with a friend who'd dated him too. When we got to talking about how he was in bed there was an awkward little pause, then she said "well, he was enthusiastic". To which I said "yeah, enthusiastic, that about sums it up, doesn't it?".

Please tell me there are some men a bit closer to my age out there who're single too, because if I have to date 21 year olds I think I may literally die of boredom and sexual frustration. I'm picturing myself falling asleep during dinner, or while some poor boy is enthusiastically but ineptly attempting oral, and it's not pretty.

On the other hand I guess the fact that there are lots of them out there who want to date me is theoretically a compliment? Still funny, though.

PS I've been doing CD reviews recently, and holy crap some of this stuff is hilarious. I know we've brought back 80s clothes, and that's bad enough, but did we really need to bring back 80s hair metal too? Check out a band called 69 Eyes - it's like stepping in a time machine and landing in 1987. On the plus side at least the dude has a nice deep voice and isn't doing the strangled cat thing? I suppose that's a positive. Doesn't make up for the cheesy lyrics, though.

Observe as I gradually start to suck less at photography!

OK so I'm in the market for a new camera (mine broke) and I need some advice. Any camera lovers among my readers? The first set (sexy punk girls) here I took with my friend's little Casio point and shoot, and they came out great because the light was good and I was super close (and I'm getting better). The second set (grr metal guys) taken with a borrowed Canon G10, and are nice and sharp BUT with some seriously wierd light effects going on. What is that sort of misty white haze in some pictures? I'm thinking/hoping it might just have been me not knowing how to use the settings, because if so that camera might be an option.

Suggestions? Feedback? Since it looks like I'm going to be doing a lot more photography over time I really should try to get better at it...

(Canon G10)

(Also note how the wierd blurry white mist thing is worse in some pics than others - anyone have any idea why? If I could solve that problem this camera might work, because the detail is good, see how you can actually see that bass dude HAS NO FUCKING EYEBROWS, SERIOUSLY MAN, WTF WERE YOU SMOKING WHEN YOU DID THAT TO YOURSELF? But yeah, detail is fine for web, but the wierd fuzzy white light thing is a problem. Anyone now how to tweak the settings to fix it?)

This is horrifying

As a person who's not religious, and one with a strong belief in personal autonomy, I'm not against suicide. Each individual's body belongs to them and them alone, and what they choose to do with it is their decision.

However...that's not what this is. This is an attempt to rid society of people deemed "defective", and it's very wrong. The fact that it seems to be in part motivated by the desire to save money and maximise profits on the part of providers of managed healthcare, as in the Hawaii example? Disgusting.

Our elderly deserve better than this. They took care of us when we were children, fed us, wiped our asses, cuddled us when we cried...the idea that we might accept their being encouraged to refuse healthcare out of a desire not to be a "burden" on us is heartbreaking. And history teaches that if the people behind this get away with it with the elderly, it won't stop there. This is a huge threat to the safety of disabled people.

Everyone, please pass this around and get people talking about it. There has to be something we can do about this. People are not expendable.

Journalists get lots of freebies, especially music journalists, but this has to be one of the cutest I've seen so far. Some background - VAMPS are a Japanese band with sort of a campy vampire theme (they're fun, not scary). And what you're seeing here is their own makeup line, VAMPAddict, from Shiseido. This just amuses the hell out of me - band themed lipgloss? Seriously? It's from Shiseido though so the quality is good. The whole concept is just kind of awesome for a band that has lots of female fans (and lots of male fans too - I wonder if they make eyeliner?).

I want one of these as a pet. OK, so my cat would probably try to eat it, but still, holy shit cute. Look at it's little blue feet!

Explanation here.

Anyone know a great tailor in the Bay Area?

Local readers, help me out. I have a tailor that I use for simple things like hemming jeans, but I don't think he can handle what I have in mind. I was cleaning out my closet and found a vintage Red or Dead skirt in this amazing subtly sparkly purple denim. Seriously, this thing is gorgeous, but I must have been heavier when I bought it because it's a bit too big. Also too long - oh high end designers, why do you assume everyone is 5ft11? So it needs hemming, but I'd also like to have them narrow it a little all the way down, and make it taper in at the knee to make it more pencil-ish.

Anyone know a local tailor who can handle that? Normally I'd just take my chances with my own tailor but hey - vintage, one of a kind, etc, don't want to ruin it.

I am a huge sap

OK, I admit it, this made me cry. Normally I'm a cynical bitch but when it comes to animals that seems to totally go out the window.



You have to love the use of music too.

Whiny loser with possible OCD issues meets feminist blogosphere, hilarity ensues

Cock bibs? Seriously? OK first of all…do you not want women to lick your balls too? If so, how are they supposed to achieve this, by ducking under the bib, thus rendering its use pointless? And how exactly would you end up with a quart of saliva in your pubic hair? Are your pubes made out of shredded ShamWow? Are they super ultra absorbent? And why is saliva in your asscrack bad thing anyway?

Look, sweetie, here’s the thing. Sex is messy. By definition it involves copious amounts of bodily fluids, which do tend to get everywhere. That’s why they invented towels, Kleenex and showers. Though given the level of maturity indicated by both the idea of the Cock Bib as humor and the idea that saliva is icky, perhaps baby wipes might be more appropriate in your case.

I keep meaning to post about the ridiculous Double X launch and particularly Linda Hirschman’s stupid potshots at Jezebel. The comments on this post are actually a perfect example of why Hirschman et al seem to hate Jezebel, and why I love it. Oh no, women being all crass and direct and unladylike! Help me to my divan before I swoon! If we go around talking openly about sex how will we ever convince men to value us on the grounds that our special feminine delicacy gives us moral authority? It’s not like part of the point of feminism was that women should allowed to be people, crass humor and all. Nope, it would be far better for all of us if we maintained a po face at all times, lest we be suspected of being unserious.

If that’s your idea of a social justice movement, fine. You’ll have to excuse me though, I have the online equivalent of a bar table full of witty female friends to get back to.

Sometimes there are just no words

You know, it's not like I don't know that a lot of people on the right are batshit crazy bigots. It's not like they do a very good job of hiding it. But sometimes, when they're talking amongst themselves, they don't even try to hide it. Sometimes the level of condescending racist bullshit is so thick that not even the strongest galloshes will allow you to make it through.

Witness this article on Redstate.com, always the place to go for intellectually rigorous journalism. It begins with the salutation "Dear Black Americans" and just gets worse from there. Quotes in bold.

"Sometimes — no, actually always — the true friend is the one who tells you what you don’t want to hear. The one who does not indulge you, the one who will neither promise you nor give you candy and other bennies. Instead he tells you to sit down and eat your green beans and spinach — and if you want that nice car, then quit whining, get an education, earn a good job, and earn that nice car."

Yep, Republics are just like your dad, always there to remind you to eat your vegetables even if they aren't tasty. This is not at all patronising or racist, it's for your own good.


" I ask you to consider, why is it that you hate Republicans so much? "

Gee, I wonder why?

"We received not one ounce of gratitude from you, but we did it anyway."

No I don't.

On what Chris Brown did

Notice that I’m not saying “on what happened to Rihanna”. That’s how things are usually constructed when we talk about violence against women – “she got herself beat up”. By fairies apparently. Certainly not by an actual person who bears responsibility for what he did.

So I’m going to just say it. Rihanna didn’t just “get beaten up”, someone beat her up. We know who it was, because he turned himself in to the police. Stop it with all the shit about “we don’t know what happened”. Yes, we do in fact know what happened. Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend. Why he did it really doesn’t matter. I don’t care if she hit him first – if that’s what happened then sure, he had a right to defend himself. But looking at Rihanna’s face, that’s not a picture of what happens when someone is just defending themselves. That is not a proportionate response. That is what happens when someone decides to beat someone else up.

It doesn’t matter if she was jealous, or cheated on him, or gave him an STD. Those could all be reasons to dump someone, but none of them are reasons to beat someone up. Even if he did “just snap” in the middle of an argument, he had the option to walk away before things got that far. He chose not to. That means that yes, we do know what happened here, and there is someone to blame.

Every single friend of his and every single member of the media who’s insisting that we don’t really know what happened, that this is just unfortunate for both of them, should be ashamed of themselves. We know what happened here. A man beat up a woman. It doesn’t matter why, the fact remains that he didn’t have to do it, but he did. That’s a choice that he should have to live with for the rest of his life. Can we please, as a society, try to make sure that he does have to live with his choice instead of trying to make excuses for him?