Career Crisis
On the off chance that there's anyone actually reading this blog I thought I'd lay out my particular career dilemma to see if anyone might have some helpful advice. I am at somewhat of a crossroads, and I need to make a decision soon. Decisions are not my strong point. My most noticeable flaw is a tendency to prevaricate, to fail to make plans and follow through on them. This is apparently entirely typical of Third Culture kids. So if there are any of them reading maybe they can commiserate.
Here is my problem. I want to be a writer. Specifically, I want to be a journalist focusing on long op/ed type pieces about culture and politics. In an ideal world, I would really love to write about cultures which the Western mainstream doesn't understand and in which I have a strong interest. I have a long-standing obsession with Russia and with China, and if I were to name my dream job right now it would be being stationed as a foreign correspondent in either Moscow or Shanghai.
Here is the problem with this idea. My undergrad degree is in Psychology. Clearly this has little relevance to journalism. I had hoped that, given that journalism has traditionally been a vocational field in which one can enter without any academic qualification and learn on the job, I would be able to get a basic entry-level reporting job and work my way up. What I have discovered over the past few years is that the profession doesn't seem to work that way any more. Nowadays getting into the field seems to require a journalism degree, preferably an MA, and multiple internships. I am therefore considering going to grad school. There are many problems with this. Firstly, I don't really have the money. I could of course get a student loan, but given how poorly paid most jobs in journalism are I'm worried that I wouldn't be able to pay off the loan once I graduate. Secondly, unless I get into Berkeley I would probably have to move. I'm not sure that I even want to go to Berkeley - I know several people who've gone through their MA program and I don't think that it focuses on the areas I'm interested in. Columbia would be a better fit, but it would also be prohibitively expensive (see the earlier comment about student loans and watch me start to panic). Another option is to apply to grad schools in the UK. This option offers the tantalizing possibility of moving back to London, which is something I want to do anyway. However, London is the third most expensive city in the world. Thus, again we are back to the financial issue.
Honestly, I'm stuck and starting to panic. I'm beginning to think that I should just abandon the whole idea and content myself with becoming an office drone and working in a job that I have no real interest in but which pays the bills. This prospect scares the shit out of me. I don't want to wake up at 50 and wonder what the hell I did with my life. I don't want to lose whatever it is that makes me myself.
There is a second option. I could go get a Masters in Psychology and become a therapist. This option would also involve student loans, but it would also involve ending up in a job in which I would be earning enough money to pay back those loans. Clearly this is a plus. I think I would make a pretty good therapist. I don't hate the idea. I don't love it either. It would be the safe, boring, sensible thing to do. Why can't I bring myself to do it?
There is yet another option that has recently occurred to me. I grew up in the Middle East. I have a pretty decent level of knowledge of the region, and a strong level of cultural competency. Physically I can pass for Persian or Turkish quite easily. Recently I've been thinking about joining the British diplomatic service. This isn't an entirely new idea. When I was in high school a recruiter from MI6 tried to persuade me to follow this very path. The UK lacks people with a background in the Middle East and knowledge of Islam, and right now it needs those people more than it ever has. I went to a very fancy British boarding school, and am thus in the group which the service prefers to recruit from. I might actually be useful and able to do some real good in such a role. If I made the effort to learn Arabic the fact that I can pass as Arab would come in very handy. I've always had the desire to do something with some sort of redeeming social value. Third Culture kids are notorious for the fact that they make excellent diplomats. I like to travel, I adapt easily to new environments, I have unusually good social and interpersonal skills - in other words, I fit the profile. The idea intrigues me.
So, what to do? I need to make a decision soon. Ever since I turned thirty I have an eerie sense that the clock is ticking and I need to take some kind of action. I feel like I'm running out of time. I've been mulling all this over and not getting anywhere. Does anyone else have any useful insights, any brilliant suggestions, or any personal experience with the fields that I'm considering that might help me break through this impasse?
To add to the confusion, my best friend thinks I should be a therapist, my grandmother things I should write novels, and my husband thinks that I should go get a PhD and be a university professor. I think my head may explode.