Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Hey there blog friends. I know I've really sucked at updating for a while now, but I have an excuse. Several of them actually.

So I'm getting divorced. Yay! As odd as it might sound "yay" is kind of an accurate summation of my feelings at this point. Man is pissing me off in so many ways it's not even funny.

So there's that. Also I've been getting a lot of freelance work and I've been busy with that. I'm also looking for a day job (blech). And learning photography, which as it turns out is not only a useful skill to add to my resume, but something I actually like - I blame my Dad the devoted shutterbug for this. Clearly it's genetic.

The wierdest thing about impending divorce is realising that I'll be dating again soon, after a really long time. I mean it's been nearly fifteen years...holy shit!

Dating in your thirties looks to be interesting. The wierdest part so far? I have a profile on OK Cupid which I've had forever just so I could take their silly quizzes, so I updated it with a couple of pictures and bam, suddenly tons of guys are hitting on me. Which is fine, but...why are most of them so damn young? Is this the cougar nonsense as cultural phenomenon playing out? Because seriously, there are multiple 21 and 22 year old boys trying to ask me out, which is like...oh honey no. I mean as friends, sure. But in terms of dating, what the hell am I going to do with a college kid? I mean I remember dating guys that age, and they were kind of annoying then - now? Yeah, I just don't have that kind of patience any more. I mean sure, they have minimal wrinkles and nice tight asses and all, but...

Well, I found this really cool blog that kind of sums up my feelings on this. The phrase "never send a boy to do a man's job" springs to mind.

This is what confuses me about the cougar thing. Really young guys are, for the most part, terrible in bed. I mean sure they have lots of energy, but for the most part they have no idea what to do with it. Way back in high school I dated a guy 18 months younger (which is a lot more of a gap when you're that age) and, after I broke up with him, ended up comparing notes with a friend who'd dated him too. When we got to talking about how he was in bed there was an awkward little pause, then she said "well, he was enthusiastic". To which I said "yeah, enthusiastic, that about sums it up, doesn't it?".

Please tell me there are some men a bit closer to my age out there who're single too, because if I have to date 21 year olds I think I may literally die of boredom and sexual frustration. I'm picturing myself falling asleep during dinner, or while some poor boy is enthusiastically but ineptly attempting oral, and it's not pretty.

On the other hand I guess the fact that there are lots of them out there who want to date me is theoretically a compliment? Still funny, though.

PS I've been doing CD reviews recently, and holy crap some of this stuff is hilarious. I know we've brought back 80s clothes, and that's bad enough, but did we really need to bring back 80s hair metal too? Check out a band called 69 Eyes - it's like stepping in a time machine and landing in 1987. On the plus side at least the dude has a nice deep voice and isn't doing the strangled cat thing? I suppose that's a positive. Doesn't make up for the cheesy lyrics, though.