Friday, January 19, 2007


Some thoughts about the recent outbreak of intercine feminist warfare
I've been politely holding my tongue for a while in an attempt to be a good little team player, but you know what? That's not me. And I'm pissed off.There seems to have been a strange outbreak of "I am the one true guardian of feminism and I'm here to tell you the rules" and you know what my response is? Bite me. And I don't mean that in a "fun" way.The next person who uses the sneering grade-school insult "fun feminist' gets a frying pan to the head. I'm not kidding. When did it become OK to look down on other women because of a bunch of totally trivial crap? Does anyone seriously believe that the point of feminism is to be the conformity police? Because that's not what I signed up for, this is my movement too, and I'm not giving it up without a fight.
Here's the thing. I like men. Not all men - some of them are fucking assholes and the world would be better off without them. If every MRA in the world was struck by lightening tomorrow my only concern would be that it might make a mess and guess who would get stuck cleaning it up? Some men are evil, dangerous bastards. But not ALL men.
Let's all try to remember the words "patriarchy is not men". It really isn't. It's a social system.
Some men are perfectly decent human beings. They do not have male cooties. Everything associated with them is not tainted by association.
Here are a list of terms that I would be very happy never to hear again..."Fun feminist", male identified, pornstitution, "sex postive" delivered in a tone so sneering it is clearly intended as an insult. I could really do without hearing other women being told that their life experiences are invalid too. If a woman says that she likes BSDM or porn or sucking dick or whatever else it is that you don't approve of you know what? Maybe she actually DOES like those things. And maybe that's OK.And all the "penises are so icky" stuff - give me a break. We're not 12. If you don't like dicks, or men's bodies in general, that's fine, but in no way does it mean that there's anything wrong or un-feminist about women who do like those things. If you're really a feminist then give other women enough respect to assume that they are not morons and they actually do know what they do and do not enjoy.Now me personally, I tend to view dicks as interesting toys that nature provided entirely for my personal amusement, so that I would have something fun to play with. This is not because I am a brainwashed sexbot, this is because I'm attracted to men. Look at my icon - I love love love men's bodies, and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm attracted to women too and view breasts much the same way, even my own. I like sex. If that's a problem for anyone, too bad. Feminism is a political movement, not a cult. 100% dedication to the movement to the exclusion of all other interests is not and should not be required. All of our identities are comlex and multi-layered, and that's a good thing. So I guess this is my coming out post. I'm a feminist. I'm also a socialist. Both are equally important to me. Fighting racism is also important to me. I'm obsessed with books, music and movies. Sometimes I'm very femmey and sometimes I'm a complete tomboy. I love ice hockey. Unless you're an Olympic athlete I guarantee I can swim faster than you can. I'm kinky as hell. I love boys who kind of look like girls. I love them even more if their bodies are unmistakeably male. I'm bolshy and agressive and I like to argue. I'm complicated, and most other people are too. I am not a fan of those who try to push others into boxes. I resent it when the pushing is done by those who claim to be acting in the best interests of women. If feminism means anything it means treating other women with respect. Referring to other women as sexbots or snottily implying that they are only saying what they are saying to suck up to the boyz is not respectful. We get enough of that crap from the other side of the political fence.

PS Since there are no icons on Blogger I'm adding the pic here because really who couldn't use more pictures of really hot guys? That and I keep referring to "my icon" and those
viewing this on blogger must be wondering what the hell I'm talking about.

25 comments:

Renegade Evolution said...

from the resident "pornstitute"

rock the fuck on.

Cassandra Says said...

Why thank you my dear.
If you're up for it at some point I would love to bend your ear about the whole porn thing, since part of the issue I have with it is that I don't really know much about how it actually works in terms of the stuff that would potentially worry me like safety, working conditions etc.

am i a bodyfascist? said...

having followed some of the mentioned debate, just stumbled over your blog. personally had been exactly the hypocrite n unjust ways of some feminists (and seeing them dominate the discussions) you're also criticising that made me stop considering myself pro-feminist some almost 20 years ago, while originally having been attracted by ideals like equal opportunities n shared responsabilities, which i still uphold, so appreciated your views expressed in the last 2 posts.

however, what i disliked was your lumping all mra's together, frankly reminds me of plenty mra's doing just the same re: feminists, which i don't approve of either, same as i'm opposed to anyone being judged/labeled by their sex, general political views etc. instead of by their individual views and actions. eg. imho in most countries marriage/divorce/custody laws do suck and obviously it's not women being on the reiving end,
which is in my understanding what mra iniatially is/was about, and insofar totally legit in my book. and while i can understand men for such reasons being mad at women just like i can understand women being mad at men for other reasons, still 'doesn't make it alright', in case you know song by the specials.

Renegade Evolution said...

C:

Sure.

Cassandra Says said...

bodyfascist - interesting that you're so willing to listen to criticism of feminists but not of MRAs.
For the record I don't buy the MRA take on divorce at all. More on that later, but in short, I have yet to see an MRA position that couldn't be summed up as "I'm pissed of because my wife left me and took the kids, therefore all Western women are evil". Not a very interesting political movement, on the whole.
Word verification - nmhmgbus, WTF? Sounds like a Lovecraft demon.

Cassandra Says said...

Ren - Appreciated, I will start bothering you with nosy questions later when my mind is working better.
Did you get any sleep?

sepeft - see, Lovecraft again

dohnaughtbreeth said...

So basically, no one is allowed to hate men in your little world? *cough* hypocrite *cough*

(if your hypocrisy is not already self-evident, reread your post until you can)

Just recently figured out that the whole "hate the patriarchy, not the patriarch" garbage is just a way for a female to rationalize her affection for a particular male. Eventually you learn that they all benefit from patriarchy, even if some of them don't expouse the viewpoint outloud.

They're all guilty in my book and I never have to worry about my vibrator beating me up when I dump it.

Cassandra Says said...

dohnaughtbreeth...You may not have noticed, but I am not Empress of the World. Nobody is being forced to submit to my will. If you disagree with me then fine,ignore me, it's no skin off my nose.
Listen, if you want to hate men as a whole then go right ahead. I am not required to do the same. Nor am I required to accept the view that that "they're all guilty". In real life they are quite manifestly not all the same.
So, kindly take your pissed off self elsewhere. I don't have the patience to listen to this shit.

Side note - I have left a number of men in my life, and none of them have ever tried to beat me up. I've never worried about them doing so, either, because I knew them well enought to know that that wasn't going to happen.

Oh, and by the way, about the hypocrisy comment - bite me.

belledame222 said...

well, i don't have a particular man in my life, quite possibly never will, and i'm still fucking tired of people using feminism as an excuse for playing eternal "Ain't Mens Awful." i didn't come to feminism to talk about freakin' menmenMEN, -period.-

in short: go, CS.

Zan said...

Ya know, I want to say something profound and meaningful about how no, feminist don't hate men, in fact some of us are quite fond of them and believe that feminism is a way to create a better society for all people, regardless of gender, but...I'm struck dumb by that lovely icon. Can I have him? Please? Just a little?

Cassandra Says said...

In tonight's edition - excessively hot bass player causes normally sensible feminist's brain to melt!
Like I said, they are in the middle of an American tour. Get thee to a show - we need some more adults there. And download some of the music if you like - there's some on MegaUpload a few posts down.
I'm getting a little weary of having to point out that we don't all hate men, really we don't, because in my case the allegation is just ludicrous, but then there's Heart...

Cassandra Says said...

And BTW - how are you getting your icon/avatar to actually appear with your comments? Because technological caveperson me can't seem to figure out how to do that.

Zan said...

I will have to track down a show. Yes.

As for the icon...well, let's see -- go to Dashboard, then edit profile. There's a slot for a picture. If I remember correctly, first I had to upload it to blogger like a regular post, but I just saved it as a draft and didn't publish it. Then I copied in the URL and tada! Or if you've got one hosted somewhere else, you just slap in the URL and it should work.

Cassandra Says said...

Provides helpful hint to list of shows, thus shamelessly whoring her favourite band.
http://www.free-will-america.com/portal/
If you scroll down there's a link to the ticket page.
Now I'm going to try the upoad icon thing. It's always annoyed me that I didn't have an icon.

Zan said...

You are now officially my new favorite person :)

Did I mention I have a serious thing for bass players? It's almost a sickness. And he's all yummy! Ahem.

If you need any more blogger based help, feel free to ask. I may know how to do it :)

Cassandra Says said...

Zan - thanks, and don't think I won't take you up on that.
Added new pic, BTW.
I suspect that my blatant leering may generate more sneering but eh, what the hell, most of those people wouldn't like me much in real life anyway.

Zan said...

Well, I'll leer with you. Oh holy gods, but he's yummy.

Plus, love your tagline. Smoking crack indeed.

Cassandra Says said...

Even yummier in real life...and since you're being so nice and supportive and all...I uploaded some pics for a friend who's kind of new to the band. Enjoy!
http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u219/britgirlsf/Toshiya/

Cassandra Says said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cassandra Says said...

Hmm, lin gets cut off in the middle..let's try that again, shall we?
http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u219
/britgirlsf/Toshiya/

Zan said...

Sweet gods. *thud*

Thanks, Cassandra. Oy. He's soooooo pretty...

Cassandra Says said...

Zan - Well, since I've already given you one heart attack today, how would you feel about a second?
Meet Kaoru
http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u219
/britgirlsf/Kaoru/

Zan said...

Those are insanely beautiful men, Cassandra. I cannot stand much more and yet...I want more. Oooh, so much more.

Cassandra Says said...

Heh, did you find the Die bucket yet?
http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u219
/britgirlsf/Die/
Basically I'm just determined to fry your brain, hope you don't mind.

Zan said...

No no. I don't mind. If my brain's gotta fry, what a way to go...