Damn Trinity, making me think all the time…
(WARNING - NSFW pics below the text)
Trinity posted an interesting comment a couple of posts down that I though was worthy of it’s own post. All week we’ve been celebrating female desire, and this is a good thing, but most of us have stuck to desires of a fairly uncontroversial nature. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but…what about those other desires? The ones we don’t mention in polite company. The ones we only mention to our nearest and dearest. The ones we sometimes don’t mention at all, the ones we keep locked inside, safe from public scrutiny? What about those ones?
I’m fairly open about mine, actually, here in the safety of my internet anonymity. There’s not much there that my dear readers can’t already guess at. I’m a little kinky, I like tying people up and dominating them, I like a little blood (other people’s blood, not mine) and a little pain (again, mostly other people’s, although I do have this thing for being bitten…). No biggies, as far as I’m concerned, but then I’m a pretty open-minded person.
But what about the other stuff? The really freaky stuff, the stuff that treads on real taboos, the stuff that can freak out even the freakiest of us? Want to talk about that stuff? Trin does, and since she wasn’t getting any responses over at her place I thought I’d throw it out to the peanut gallery here.
For what it’s worth, my take is this. Whatever happens in the privacy of your own mind? I don’t care. How ever weird it may be, your mind is your own, to do with as you will. It’s none of my business what anyone else fantasizes about, as long as they don’t insist on telling me about it after I politely ask them to shut up. What does everyone else think? Are some ideas so awful that we shouldn’t even be thinking about them? Most religions would say yes. I say no, but then I’m an atheist and I’m weird.
What about when we take those ideas and act them out in the real world? In other words, what happens when it’s not just something happening in the privacy of one’s own imagination? What about when other people are involved? Is that OK as long as the other people are consenting adults, or are some things so vile that they should never be acted out, even in a highly controlled environment?
To provide some context…I used to spend a lot of time in BSDM clubs and at parties. In some of those places I saw a few things that I, personally, cannot tolerate. I can’t stand any of the myriad fetishy things usually referred to as “watersports”. Not at all, not in any way. If I see such a thing I will exit the scene immediately.
That doesn’t mean I think it’s not OK for other people to do those things, though. I just don’t want to watch or participate.
Then there’s the Nazi stuff. Anyone who’s ever spent any time around the BSDM scene has seen this at some point. Me? I fucking hate it. Not only do I not want to watch it, I don’t want to play with anyone who does it even if they don’t do it when I’m involved. It tweaks something in me that cannot be suppressed. Every time I see it I want to beat the crap out of people.
But then again, that’s me. Does that mean that other people don’t have a right to do it? No. Although one some level I really, really wish they didn’t. And it bothers me.

The thing is, the idea of categorically forbidding the acting out of certain fantasies worries me. It seems like a slippery slope. I’m reluctant to forbid ANYTHING between consenting adults, because you know the old saying…if you’re silent when they come for this group, and then that one, what about when they come for you?


As an example and to give an idea of where I fit on the old kink meter…this should give a general idea of my preferred kind of play, although I have a REALLY strong preference for leather straps. These particular pics are from the music video I was talking about a couple of posts down, since I know that the people depicted are OK with being thus depicted and I have no intention of posting pics of myself (and also so that if anyone comes and complains about my supporting porn I can say “hey, it’s a fucking music video, people - I KNOW all the people involved in this one were OK with it”). Now here’s the thing – think about the stuff that squicks me out, like the watersports stuff. If one were to make my personal “icky” reflex the standard by which things are allowed or not allowed, what about all the people who like that stuff and happily participate in it together with no harm done to anyone involved? What about all the people who find the stuff I like horrifying and would love to be able to ban it? People’s standards vary…they vary a lot. If we’re not going to say “everything consensual is OK”, who gets to set the standards? Who would YOU trust to make that call?
(Note – pics NSFW because of blood, boobs and general kinkiness)

Discuss at will.