Well that was a weird experience…
About a week ago I left my first comment on Dead Men Don’t Rape. I initially avoided that particular blog because the name offends me (not going into what the implications of the title are, but come on, it’s not hard to parse), but then AntiPrincess linked to it and I thought well, if it makes her think, why not at least give it a chance?
So I browsed around a bit. Most of the entries I just didn’t feel engaged with at all, but there was one that I did, so I actually read it in detail.
It was about contemplating throwing away one’s bras and frilly underwear. Now, this idea has always perplexed me – I am a woman who would never under any circumstances discard my bras. This is nothing to do with the feminist implications of wearing or not wearing lingerie, this is because I have big boobs and I’m a fairly active person. I do some sports, I walk a lot and walk very fast – without a bra the bounce factor would be most uncomfortable. My wearing a bra is not a political statement, it’s a necessity for my own comfort. If that meets with anyone’s disapproval…well, sorry about that, but I’m not that fond of walking around in pain. I guess I’m just funny that way.
I’ve never understood the idea that undergarments are inherently patriarchal. I can see why one might come to the conclusion that frilly, lacy, overtly sexy undergarments are so (not that I necessarily disapprove of those either, but that’s another post), but what about your basic, boring cotton panties? What about the sports bra, which in my opinion is the best thing to happen to athletically inclined women since the invention of the sneaker? Are sports bras Tools of the Patriarchy too? Even though mine kind of look like they were designed by the Army Corps of Engineers and are about as sexy as the average military fortification?
This is one of those things that I just don’t seem to be able to grasp no matter how I try. The idea that bras = oppression does seem to be out there floating around, though. I suspect that my questioning that assumption was part of what got my comment deleted at DMDR place.
Please note – I’m not saying that Bea does not have the right to run her blog and moderate her comments any way she sees fit. She does, and my getting the boot is my own fault for not reading her comments policy thoroughly enough first. I’m not a radfem, I’m more of a socialist feminist, therefore I am not welcome. And I can live with that, even though honestly I question the wisdom of making spaces that exclusive – how are any of us every going to accomplish anything if we don’t talk to each other? But, again, her blog, her rules.
The basic idea still puzzles me, though. Where did the concept that bras are inherently a bad thing come from, and do most of us really think it makes any sense? How many of us actually believe that idea? I’m betting a very small minority – I always thought that the bra burning feminist idea was a stupid stereotype with very little basis in reality, brought to you by the same charming individuals who coined the term “feminazi”. I don’t really know what everyone else thinks, though, so I’m throwing it out to the rest of you. Does anyone have any strong opinions about feminine undergarments and their relation to and/or ability to uphold or undermine patriarchy? Is this something that most people think about/care about, or is it pretty much a non-issue?
For me it’s a non-issue. I just don’t see how my altering my choice of undergarments would by some mystical process lead to the fall of patriarchy. To me the whole idea sounds, well, kind of dumb. But that’s just me.
I’m also interested in how this ties in to that unwritten feminist dress code that people always say doesn’t exist. It does exist, though, which becomes obvious each time any feminist is open about violating it. At this point I wish the people who seem to be really, really concerned with what other women wear would just be honest about it, because the “we’re not telling you what to do BUT…” is getting really old.
And on that note, thinking of a recent discussion at PFs place…why are long skirts OK, when short skirts are not? Skirts on women as a whole conforms to a gendered dress code, so why are some skirts frowned upon while others are OK? Is the guideline that anything that might conceivably be attractive to men is verboten? Because to me that seems to be making things all about the men (again), and I’m not sure why as feminists we would want to do that. What if I don’t like long skirts? What if I always feel like I’m drowning in fabric when I wear one? What if they feel restrictive to me? Are all those things less important than what some random guy on the street might think?