Saturday, March 24, 2007

OK, time for some more lust…
(In two parts due to Blogger’s hatred of pic-heavy posts)
You know how I keep going on and on about my favorite band? Now, there are many reasons I love Dir en grey. I first fell in love with their music ten years ago after being given an indie single by my beloved Noriko…did I mention how great she was? Anyway, at that point it was all about the music…the Japanese rock scene was going through an odd phase from a stylistic point of view, and DEG were among the oddest of the lot. I loved their sound, but I thought they looked ridiculous. I was willing to overlook that, however, because that sound…that sound sent chills down my spine. Ten years later it still does.
The second thing I fell in love with was the videos…and here’s where some of the radfems throw me out of the sisterhood forever. There was this video, you see…it was for the song Raison D’Etre, from the first major label album. Now that video…to all intents and purposes it’s softcore BSDM porn with a really great soundtrack. And Cassandra loved it to the depths of her kinky little soul.
And those videos just kept getting better and better, and so did the music, and I was hooked.
I still didn’t really find the guys sexy, per se, more interesting than anything else, until a couple of years later. They toned the make-up down a bit, to the point where you could actually see their faces, and discarded the sillier costumes, and then…well, then Cassandra discovered 3 of the sexiest men she’s ever seen. Bizarre that they’re all in the same band, especially for me – most of the bands I love were hit with the ugly stick pretty hard. I love Metallica, but from an aesthetic point of view – blech! Al Jorgenson’s a genius, but I wouldn’t touch him with someone else’s body. Pantera…surely you jest. The Ramones…Joey looked like Howard Stern, and that’s REALLY not a compliment. But these guys…
Well, let’s put it this way. It’s still about the music, that never changed. But the fact that three out of five guys are so sexy I never get tired of looking at them? That’s a pretty sweet bonus feature. And I’m a generous girl, so given that it’s lust week and all I thought I’d share.

Toshiya I already posted, but you want some more? As if I needed an excuse when it comes to my favourite lust object…gratuitous pics from last month’s Inward Scream tour.

See, Zan, told you you should have gone.

And then there’s Die. Who has recently toned down his trademark red hair, much to my disappointment – it’s kind of a dark auburn now. I miss the letterbox red hair. He’s still sexy as hell, though. I met this one last summer, and he’s even sexier in person. Funny story – the woman I went to see them with last summer is, well, kind of racist (which is why I no longer hang out with her – that day was a very illuminating experience). She is famously disdainful towards Asian men. But when this guy walked out on the stage…she grabbed my arm and said “Holy shit he’s hot!”.

Wanna see why?

That says it all, really. The libido beats people’s deeply ingrained stupidity every time. He’s a lot taller than I expected him to be. With an amazing smile. Playful, funny, sometimes annoying, but never boring. He’s kind of the token regular guy. Seems to derive his greatest pleasure in life from torturing their drummer, the poor little lamb. Drinks too much. Has always looked great in clothes – except for the brief and very unfortunate period where they tried to put him in a dress. He looked like Great Aunt Matilda. Drag was not a good look for him – the way he moves is all wrong. Let’s all be very glad they don’t do that any more.
Did I mention that he’s really sexy? Tall, thin but not too thin, oddly round nose that for some reason I find terribly cute, prettiest lips I’ve ever seen. Gorgeous skin, even in his thirties.

I’m not digging the new hair color (below, Inward Scream tour again), but yep, he’s still hot.


Zan said...

Holy hell, Cassandra. First, can we work out a share plan on your husband? Because if that's what he look like....:) Ahem.

Second, you are singlehandedly to blame for my sudden desire for Asian men. Oh, I've long thought they were attractive, but now, with this sudden glut of pix, I'm going a bit insane. Damn you. Damn you. Damn you.

Third -- why the hell would anyone be down on Asian guys? I just...I don't understand. But then, I apparently missed the bigot gene.

Now. I have to go take a shower. A very cold shower. Damn you.

Trinity said...

"you are singlehandedly to blame for my sudden desire for Asian men."

With me it's not sudden...

*twiddles thumbs waiting for the OMG EXOTICIZING WHITEY DIE DIE DIE tomatoes to get thrown*

but, y'know...

if we're actually admitting to desire, even the "bad" ones...

um. yeah.

Cassandra Says said...

Zan - Sorry, I'm an only child, I never did learn how to share...
I'm happy to keep feeding your addiction with pretty pics, though!
I would point out that very, very few Asian men look like these three. If most did I would have packed up and moved YEARS ago. Then again, I already have my babe, shouldn't be greedy.
Tons of American women seem to have something against Asian men. I could give you dozens of potential reasons, but in the end they all come down to two things - racism, and the idea that all men must be huge and bulging with muscles. That seems to be the prevailing image of what's sexy in a man. I never did understand why - the average football player may as well not exist from my POV, they just don't register on my sexual radar.

Out of interest, of my personal lust object which is your favourite so far?

Cassandra Says said...

Trin said "*twiddles thumbs waiting for the OMG EXOTICIZING WHITEY DIE DIE DIE tomatoes to get thrown*"
The thing is, to me there's nothing "exotic" about any of these guys. I grew up partly in Asia, and I spent most of my teens hanging out with pretty boys in eyeliner. Nothing could be more familiar to me. And then there's the fact that Kaoru looks like my husband. It's kind of hard to view someone as "exotic" when you watch their doppleganger brush his teeth every morning and cut his toenails.

Funny thing is, I've had that accusation lobbed at me, but never actually by anyone who was Asian. It's always been either pissed off white boys who're upset that I find their back hair a little offputting, or radfems who I suspect are actually upset about me lusting over men, period. In either case I'm not inclined to care much what they have to say. Everyone is entitled to their preferences.

Also, getting women to admit to their desires was the point of this whole exercise. I'm not sure that any sexaul desires can be deemed "bad" unless they involve unwilling people, children or livestock.

Trinity said...

"Also, getting women to admit to their desires was the point of this whole exercise. I'm not sure that any sexaul desires can be deemed "bad" unless they involve unwilling people, children or livestock."

Eh. I don't know what to think really. I've got friends who are WOC who get hit on often by real skeevesters and so are very suspicious and angry about being fetishized.

I posted my fetishization and disability post (and was actually really hoping people would comment -- not sure if the topic scared them or if it was just a sunny weekend) because that's really the only direct experience of being exoticized that I might ever have, because I'm personally struggling with this whole issue lately.

Cassandra Says said...

Trin - Oh, agreed, that absoltely does exist and it's pretty creepy. I have a friend who's Vietnamese-American who gets it all the time - guys keep asking her where she's from and refusing to accept "Cleveland" as an answer.
Thing is, that's not what's going on with me. As far as I'm concerned these guys are part of my tribe. Punk and metal, wierdly colored hair, tattoos, piercings, generally tribe. Which specific country said people are from is of very little relevance to me. I don't find the classic Japanese salaryman type remotely attractive, or the cutesy adorable pop idols. It's a tribal thing, a matter of subculture.
My general type is - tall, thin, pretty, as little body hair as possible, not at all overtly macho, dark hair, pale skin. Of these things the one I'm most flexible on is height and the ones I'm least flexible on are body hair and thinness. Hence, there will be more men who pass my filter who are, say, Japanese than who are, say, Irish. But it's not about them being Asian, it's about them fitting my specific type. Does that make sense?

Trinity said...

Yes, that does make sense.

But my point is that the "bad" thing I was admitting to is that I sometimes *do* eroticize things like those features. *That's* why I expected tomatoes.

What I'm struggling with right now is what it means to do *that*. Because I don't want to be a jerk... but years of trying just hasn't erased reactions to certain features.

And I was hoping, with that post over at my spot (that no one touched and I'm still wondering why) to open that can of worms... because okay. Desire. Let's talk about it.

Cassandra Says said...

Trin - The reason I never replied to the post over at your place was that I don't share those specific fetishes, so I wasn't sure I had anything to add. Personal confession that may provide context - my mother died of breast cancer. It was a very long, painful process. Ever since then I've been terrified of anything medical - I really only go to the doctor to get mammograms and pap smears. I'm scared of dentists, too. I think on some level it's a dom thing - the feeling of not being in control in those environments freaks me out. Plus, I associate all things medical with losing my mother, which I know isn't logical, but it's there.

As far as "forbidden" desires in a general sense, though...I don't have the stats in front of me but medical fetishes are pretty common, as are medical phobias like mine (technically known as blood/injury phobia, which annoys me since it's misleading - blood in certain contexts actually turns me on). When it comes to fetishising characteristics that are inherently part of a person eg disability, race etc...well, that's a trickier situation all around. Opening that can of worms is worth doing, for sure, but likely to provoke nasty arguments.
PS I'd add to the same category people who like to play with Nazi paraphanalia in a BSDM sense, which I've never been comfortable with.

Trinity said...

I'm dictating this to a computer, so it's got some mistakes in it. I hope it generally makes sense, but if there some error that really doesn't just ask and i'll explain.

I feel uneasy about opening that can of worms too, but I'm starting if feel equally uneasy about not doing it. I remember looking at a message board a while ago, and one of the discussions was what fantasies are OK for kinky people to have and what are not. That makes me uneasy because I have a hard time thing of that as any different than the people who say that kinky fantasies aren't OK in and of themselves because they deal with things that we shouldn't be messing with.

Maybe I'm just being absolutist here in a way I really shouldn't be, but I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that either it's OK for us to think anything at all and let our minds go anywhere all, or it's just not. To my mind the only thing that lets any of our violent fantasies be OK anyway is the idea at that there's a difference between what we play with in our minds and what we really think is appropriate. I mean, yes it's true that a lot of us just experience things that would be painful as totally fun. But not all of us stay in the shallow and. Many of us are playing precisely with what scares us. Or were doing something safe, while fantasizing about doing something that isn't, that's much harder core of what's actually happening.

I have a hard time separating a lot of these fantasies that are seen as beyond the pale from fantasies that are very violent but are seen as okay. I get that the differences group membership, but think about how many of us fantasize about something like rape. The feminist analysis of that is that it often happens to people, women, due to a group membership. So if we're fantasizing about group membership based violence in not example, then one is there so much profound difference between between those kinds of fantasies and the fantasies of say Nazi play or something like that? Then sometimes it seems to me that the only reason ravishment play is more accepted is because it's been women, feminist, who hashed it out during the sex wars way back when.

I guess the thing is for me, that even if that stuff is worse, we can't rewrite people's brains just by deciding what's better and what's worse. And we're all playing with the shadow anyway if we're talking about BDSM. It's hard for me to say this shadow is explorable and that shadow is not explorable. If it's all shadow, it's all dark, all potentially ugly, old hidden part of the mind. Either you get to go there, or you don't.

Of course, members of the oppressed groups get to decide whether they want to go there with other people or not, and have a perfectly sensible reasons not to. But I'm getting more and more weary of the idea that we can tell people OK it's all right to play with knives and whips and canes and sometimes even guns, all of which are weapons, all of which have been used in actual torture, but it's not ok to set the scene or that one.